The Island of Wisdom

You are probably familiar with the aspect of an observer in mindfulness practice. That observer sometimes takes a form of a factual and distant interpretation what we are observing in ourselves and beyond. It often happens in the practice that this narrative get us into another form of judgment - less argumentative but nevertheless, it is still judgment. Compassion and practice of loving-kindness can help us to shift from this distant judgment into warm experience of how we are riding the waves of life.

With the field of neuroscience, neurobiology and psychology we get more and more data about the importance of shifting our mental processing to the regions of the brain where centers for empathy, compassion and blameless discernment are. When we operate from the regions of the brain where criticism, blame, judgment of self, others and circumstances (and everything else that goes with it) are present, we can achieve our goals, we can create life we think will bring fulfillment but once we get there we will be empty, exhausted and defeated. Fulfillment is not something we strive for, it is nothing to achieve, fulfillment means to fill our cup with kindness, empathy and presence. Once our cup is full it will flow outside too.

How do you talk to yourself?

Notice what is the tone of your voice (in your head) when you step into the present moment awareness. Is it a bit monotone, with metal quality of a sort? Can you bring warmth to your inner world? The way we talk to ourselves is a foundational part of self-compassion. If you notice there is confusion as you read this, can you bring warmth and kindness to that observation? If Inner Critic becomes activated, can you turn toward that part of you and offer loving kindness to that part too? What would it take for you to begin to sense and experience the present moment without the narrative and interpretation. As scary as it may seem to your ego, once you silence the voice inside, the direction is not outside of your body, but into a warm, kind experience of what it means to be a human being with this skin, arms, legs, head and heart. (Check out the meditation How To Treat Yourself As a Friend in the previous post)

Way too often we engage in harsh, surgical interventions when we reject parts of ourselves, we push them away wanting to be different and achieve some self-perceived standards of what it means to be human. The intention behind this attitude reveals deep, universal need to be loved, to be safe and to belong. Once we begin to notice that all our mental processes rest on these universal needs we can simply ask ourselves: How can I treat myself so I can feel safe, be loved and feel I belong (as opposing to feeling shame)? Naturally, you will also notice heaps of resistance coming along. You dear Inner Critic will not just step aside and let you bring kindness inside. On contrary, it will scream at you that this is not safe, that if you love yourself others will stop loving you and that you will become a lonely, sad loser.

In the practice of Mindful Self-Compassion mindfulness part enables us to notice (with kindness) inner struggles that arise as a response to life circumstances and the patterns of inner narrative which trigger reactions in our body. Once we notice the trigger we can begin to soothe our mental, emotional and physical reaction to it. Why would we do that? Because we cannot act resourcefully if we are constantly creating pressure and stress.

The world is going in a direction where there is more collective trauma than we have experienced since the World War II. This collective suffering will provide more difficulty to receive care from others as everyone is running on low batteries. It is not easy to be there for others when we fighting with inner demons. In MSC we call this caregiver's fatigue. If people around you are withdrawing and cannot listen to your pain, it is because they are struggling too. We are all hanging on a thin line here. It is time to take responsibility for our own lives and bring that kindness we have been longing for. And filling up our inner cup, is far away from being selfish and lazy. The inner kindness enables you to replace stress with wisdom. And looking around wouldn't you agree that humanity needs a bit more wisdom at the moment?

Below is a snippet on the style of Mindful Self-Compassion sessions - reflection, science, potery, sharing and insights. It is ok to be a slow learner, there is no goal to achieve and the path toward wisdom is throuhg kindness and compassion. Together, we can support each other as we realize that we are yearning to be safe and loved.

Mindful Self-Compassion program overview

(Note: the program date changed to 27th August)

Reminder: Charlene Ng and Julia Feste are holding an online MSC program for teens Back to School. Find out more via the QR below