An Invitation to Mindful Monday
Every Monday, a group of strangers who have become or may soon become friends, gather to sit in silence, observing and accepting all that may come up in the process. This is Mindful Monday, a secular mindfulness gathering in the Hutongs of Beijing. It all started with the intention to support each and every person that comes through the door of BMC, as well as Dalida Turkovic, founder of Beijing Mindfulness Center, herself, on Mondays — the start of the week, and a day that can be notoriously quite tough. Mindful Monday is a support network, a gym for the mind, and a sanctuary all in one.
“If I can be calm, and you can be calm, the world can be calm.” But that so called “calm” doesn’t mean submissive, subdued, or living in apathy. Instead, it means making very conscious decisions of what is really right for myself and for the world. During Mindful Monday we are active observers of our lives, our surroundings and the world at large.
With the invitation of the bell, a group of five or six, maybe eight or even ten, sit in a circle and transition into meditation — a set of techniques that are intended to encourage a heightened state of awareness and focused attention. It is a gentle shift, encouraging us to support ourselves with kindness. We may begin to notice the mind wandering, bringing up images and dialogues of what happened during the day, or even the sound of a latecomer joining the circle. It - the distractions, the disruptions, the possible disquieting of the mind - are all part of the present moment.
Mindfulness is observation of the present moment. Perhaps it is a look at how the mind is responding to the act of sitting, to slowing down, to taking a pause. We may also choose to invite our hands to a place that’s soothing - the heart, the belly, or on top of the other hand - a reminder of returning to yourself, of coming home. As thoughts come and go, we just let them come and go. The thoughts may simply travel down the road and come springing back like a boomerang, or we may notice that they go far away into stories about the past and the future. Allowing the journey to take its course can bring surprises, pleasant, and possibly unpleasant - untapped fear, or ignored joy.
Our inner interpreters may have the tendency to takeover, to “explain” what’s happening, and to make sense of everything. But the breath reminds us that an explanation is not necessary. Taking time to notice the breath helps to build awareness, and gradually allow the judgement of the active mind to fade off into the distance. The breath can also help to relieve tension. Counting the breaths may remind us where we are, and deeper and deeper exhales may remind us to just let it go (Cue the “Frozen” soundtrack!), maybe a little, and maybe a whole lot.
The bell sounds and we slowly come back into our awareness. With the support of the group we share what’s on our minds and on our hearts. Whether it is loneliness, fear, anger, or hesitancy to let go of something we are holding onto - all topics are welcomed and embraced by the community. It is then incumbent upon the coach - to bring seemingly disparate topics under a single roof, through coaching tools, through sharing of anecdotes and through mindful observation of the present moment. What is it offering us? What is it telling us or teaching us?
Mindful Monday session at BMC, The Beijinger issue May/June 2017
At Mindful Monday we embrace others as we embrace ourselves. Whether we bring tears or laughter to the circle doesn’t matter. We choose acceptance and let go of the notion that we or the circle should be another way. We as a whole society tend to pretend a lot. The only way out is to stop pretending with ourselves and lying to ourselves. One way we do this is by gradually learning to be our authentic selves with each other.
The purpose is not to put a mindfulness “bandaid” on everything. If anger is a pot of boiling water, then a mindfulness “bandaid” is putting the lid on the pot in the midst of absolute chaos or intense pain, and hoping the water doesn’t escape. But what we need to do instead of putting a lid on and hoping for the best, is to find out where the flame is and reduce the fire, all with the unrelenting support of the group. After all, it can be easier to do hard things together.
At the New Year it is common to come up with resolutions, a commitment, either specific or vague, to start the year afresh, to breathe new life into a new year. Some of these may be maintained, while others may be put aside in favor of new thoughts, and in response to changing circumstances. Many of us will make a mad dash to the gym, to the salon for a new haircut, or to the shops or clothing swaps for a refreshed wardrobe. In the midst of exploring what you need on the outside, perhaps a question you will choose to ask yourself this year is what does my mind, my inner world need, to feel nourished and whole?
Whether you’ve been coming to Mindful Monday for a long time, it’s your first time, or you are coming back after a hiatus, everyone is welcome in the circle. We will just sit and observe thoughts and our own inner worlds, with the belief that when we manage to truly deeply connect with ourselves inside, that slowly but surely the world can change.
Mindful Monday meets every Monday at the BMC from 7:30-9pm. All are welcome. Each session is 100 RMB. Discounts are also available through memberships with BMC. Please sign up in advance so we can prepare to welcome you accordingly.
About Author: Ella Ray
Ella is a Beijing-based coach in training who approaches her practice with a curious mind and a compassionate heart, listening to clients actively and without judgment as she partners with them to develop and implement tools of inquiry and exploration into the mind and body.
A corporate communications professional and a former competitive athlete, Ella understands the demands of physically, mentally, and emotionally intense environments. Through her lived experience and acquired expertise, Ella has learned that self-compassion is a stronger motivating force than self-criticism—a central principle that informs her work with each client.
While transitioning from a difficult situation—from an unfulfilling relationship to a toxic work environment to a personal loss—may be an end goal for some clients, Ella also understands that for many others, life circumstances may require them to cope with the challenges of their current environments. She supports clients on an evolving journey to identify and embody their values, no matter where they may find themselves.
Ella is a student of the Beijing Mindfulness Academy’s Coaching from Within program. She holds a RYT 200 yoga teacher’s certification from Yoga Alliance and has completed courses in Mindful Communication in Yoga with Taozi Tree Yoga, as well as Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Life (MBCT-L) with A Tool Kit for Life. In addition, she holds bachelor’s degrees in International Relations and East Asian Language and Culture from the University of Southern California and is working towards an EMBA with Quantic. She has nearly two decades of experience teaching swimming lessons to children with special needs. Ella coaches in English and Mandarin.
BMC Academy coaches are available to provide assistance and bring awareness to the wisdom of emotions and compassion. Please check our coach directory.
Thank you for reading and investing time into your wellbeing.